Love is Never Distant
by Kairi Okani Moonlight
Summary: Rin and Sesshomaru made love for the first time and after he leaves because of personal reasons. But Rin felt it was because of her. A month later she realizes she pregnant with his chlid. Not to mention shes going through her own set of problems.
1. Chapter 1

**OK THIS IS MY FIRST RIN AND SESSHOWMARU FAN FIC AND IM HOPING THAT IT GOES WELL! IT KINDA JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD WHEN I WAS READING OTHER FAN FICTION. SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. I WAS GONNA MAKE IT A ONE SHOT BUT I DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE TO LONG OF A CHAPTER AND I WANTED TO SPREAD IT OUT MORE. SO ENJOY!!**

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Hurt Feelings

Rin was sitting at the edge of the river, gazing at it as the sun shined off of it. The fish swimming fluently and the little ripples that the wind made as it flew right over it. She sat there for the past 5 months. The same place at the same time in the same sitting position. She was thinking about what had happened 5 months ago with her beloved lord. They had made love for the first time. She had become of age where she should have been married but was not. The time where she should have settled down to have a family but have not. Clear memories of that night appeared in her mind. But the saddest memory she held in her mind and heart would always haunt her until she knew why he did what he did.

**-FLASHBACK-**

_Rin and Sesshomaru laid down after their blissful evening that they just shared. Rin was on top of him as he wrapped his arms around her. He had taken her fully that night. Even though he had not marked her as his he still loved her. Even so he didn't truly she was ready for that kind of bond._

"_Lord Sess-", Rin started but was cut off by his glare._

"_Sesshomaru is what you will call me from now on. Never Lord anymore"._

"_I understand. May I ask you a question? Why have you not marked me as yours? Do you not love me enough for me to be truly yours?"_

_Sesshomaru didn't answer. He knew this was coming. He had taught her all about the mating rituals and the fact that he didn't mark her was a sign._

"_I have my reasons", was all he said as he got up and started to put his clothes back on._

_Rin was hurt. 'Does he not love me? Have I done something wrong?' She thought._

"_Was I not good in bed? Was I not as good as the other females you have been with?", she started to cry._

"_No. it has nothing to do with that. Its-"_

"_**Then what does it have to do with"?**__ She screamed. __**"Tell me?! Do you not love me?! I want the truth Sesshomaru"!**_

_He never heard he scream at him before. And he wasn't staying for it either. He knew he was hurting her by not telling her the truth but he had to leave, to get something's in order before anything else came about._

"_I do love you Rin."_

"_Then why hurt me? Why not make me yours forever?" she was raking with sobs._

"_Get dressed Rin. And head back to the village."_

_Rin did as she was told and got dressed. She saw Sesshomaru leaving and caught him by his arm._

"_Where are you going? Are you not coming back with me?"_

"_No. I have things to take care of."_

"_Why are you being so cold to me? Please don't leave me again. Im begging you. Please."_

_Sesshomaru was shocked. Rin…was begging him to stay with her._

"_I cannot Rin, now release me"._

_Rin released him with ease. She knew better than to trouble him in stupid ways._

"_Head back to the village and happy birthday Rin", he said as he walked off._

_Rin stood there shocked. She had completely forgot that it was her 20__th__ birthday. Tears started to stream down her face as she saw the one she loved walk away from her. Turning around she walked the other way also sobbing on the way._

"_And Rin."_

"_Yes"_

"_I'm sorry for the near future", and with those last words he disappeared into the black forest._

**-FLASHBACK OVER**-

That was the last time she ever saw him. She cried every night for a month until she found it pointless. That is she got a little surprise of her own. After a month of crying she found out she was pregnant. And the only person she was with and had ever been with was Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru was going to be a father. A father to her baby.

But it still kinda saddened her. He was going to be a father to her half breed child. Sesshomaru hated half breeds. Even though he got along with his half brother Inuyasha, who was indeed a half breed that didn't mean that Sesshomaru wanted half a breed child. It made Rin sad at this fact. She looked down at her growing tummy. It was very round in her bright pink kimono with black obi.

"Your going to be born soon", Rin said as she rubbed her tummy up and down. "One more month to go and then I will see your pretty face," she smiled.

Rin was radiant. She felt more beautiful than she ever had while she carried her child. Her face was glowed with happiness and her smile was always bright. No matter what the people of the village thought of her or said about her, nothing could bring her spirits down. She never felt like this before. It felt so different to have another body inside of her. To feel her baby kicking her gently and sometimes roughly when it wanted something. Besides that it was as quite as her. As the sun went down Rin felt a little nudge at her side. She giggled.

"You must be hungry by now aren't you little one"? She asked as she continued to rub her tummy. "Well another day has gone and another day awaits for us. As each day passes it brings us closer to each other". Rin kissed her fingers and placed them back on her stomach as she got up and headed back to the village.

Unknown to her there was a shadow figure watching her from the forest. The amber eyes showed sorrow within them. He watched her for the longest time. No, he watched her all day. As she left so did he, back into the depths of darkness.

As Rin reached the village she could her the voices of her fellow 'neighbours'. Even thought she held her head held high she wanted to kill those people. She could careless of what they said about her but when it came to her child she wanted them to rot in hell.

"Have you heard. The father of her baby left her for another woman"

"No. I think the baby was fathered by a demon. It would be a half breed. What a filthy combination to have.

"What a slut. She isn't even married and she pregnant. No wonder she cant keep a man."

"Her baby is going to grow up in a broken home. That child deserves to be treated badly, it's the reason Rin isn't married."

"Maybe we should tell her to leave. I mean she thinks none of us men are good enough for her and she goes of having sinful sex with God knows who."

Rin heard all the whispers of the villagers. It made her want to cry. How can humans hate one of their own so much till the point of exile? Rin has never done anything wrong to deserve this. And her baby defiantly didn't deserve this kind of treatment. Maybe they were right, maybe she will leave after the baby was born. No, before the baby was born. Lady Kaede would gladly take her in. After all Lady Kaede did offer to take her in the first time but she refused thinking that she could go back to her old village that she grew up in. But was Rin wrong. They shunned her once she came back and even more when they found out that she had rejected what they called the most eligible bachelor in the village. Saying that "she doesn't deserve him" and "she doesn't know what she's talking about". To Rin he was like all the other guys. Shallow because he knew all the single women fawned over him and his good looks and Rin wasn't into that kind of persona. Sure, he was a great looking guy but his personality sucked. Big time.

Rin entered her hut and started a fire with a pot of water boiling over it. Her mind racing to her thoughts.

'I miss him. I miss him so much. Why did he have to hurt me? What did I ever do to him for him to leave me? Maybe…maybe he doesn't love me like he said he did. Maybe it was all a lie to make love to me and then leave me. Well in his mind it must have been just sex. He's had sex so many times before to fuck me would have made no difference to him I'm guessing'.

Rin added some seasoning and fresh veggies and some meat that she bought from the local market to her pot of water. As the food boiled she changed into her night time kimono. It was a dark blue with golden sakura petals on it. She loved this kimono dearly. It reminded her of Sesshomaru. It's the only reason why she bought it, besides the fact that she loved it herself. The midnight blue sky was always dark and mysterious. You never know what it holds with in its shadows. A surprise in each turn. Just like Sesshomaru. He never showed his true colours. Just like how some people believe the sky is black at night. You could never know its true colour, just like her Sesshomaru. He always surprises her when she least expects it. And the gold sakura petals represented the stars in the sky. The stars the light up the way when the moon isn't out. When she looked at the golden colour she saw Sesshomaru's eyes. Those eyes always haunted her. In her sleep, in her mind. Sometimes she could feel those eyes watching her every move. She knew it was kind of staker-ish to think like that but she couldn't help it. She loved him, wanted him, no need him by her side. In all truth she was scared to give birth by herself without him by her side.

'What if there were complications, what if something went horribly wrong? What if her baby…' NO she couldn't think like that. Her baby will live. Come on, the baby will have the blood of its father. The strong Lord of the Western side. The demon to be feared.

Rin smiled. Her soup was finally done and finally her child would stop kicking her as soon as she feed herself. Her mind wandered to her child that was easing her from kicking her. Wondered if it was a boy or a girl. If her baby would come out with silver hair like her father or black hair like her. Amber or brown eyes. Ears like their father or ears like Inuyasha. Doggie ears. Those cute triangles on the top of Inuyasha head. His triplet babies has his ears. They were the cutest things.

After she had finished her dinner she cleaned up washed her face and prayed to the distant stars above. Every night she said the same prayer and wish. She did a little star gazing till her eyes drifted her off to sleep. Those same amber eyes watched her from the distant tree tops. His white kimono blowing in the wind along with his long silvery tresses. His face still held the same sorrow from earlier. He hated to see this woman in a depressed mood. The man sucked in a deep breath of air and jumped from tree to tree back into the forest.

"Soon. Soon it will all be over for you. You will never have to know pain ever again".

Those were his last words before he completely disappeared into the night.

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Dawn had come once again for the childish woman. Yes, she hadn't completely changed from her childish ways and she was a 20 year old with a baby on the way. With one more month to go she started to get herself prepared for bringing her child into this world that she dubbed as Hell. If it was up to her she would bring her baby into a world of peace. No fighting, no separation. Everyone would be equal. Isn't that what the God of the world would have wanted? But humans would never behave in that kind of manner. She did her daily routine; making her breakfast and then washing her face. She changed into a different kimono that was all green. Light green. Rin made her way to her favourite river. Across the river was a forest. The trees always had bright green leaves and when they changed colour from green to reds, orange, yellows it was a pretty site to see. But winter was her most favourite time to see the forest go through its seasonally change. The pure white snow frozen to the branches and icicles hanging off the tips of them. She loved to see the change happen. It was her solitude.

As Rin reached the river she released her dark green obi a little bit to loosen its grip around her still growing tummy, letting the gentle breeze caress her skin lightly. She enjoyed this feeling. To be alone. Just her and the baby. Talking and rubbing her tummy. Letting her baby know that she will always be there for him/her. Never going to miss a moment of their childhood.

Running her right hand through the crystal clear water, while her left hand stood on her round tummy. She failed to notice a figure standing on the other side of the river watching her actions. It was only then she realized that the figure was there when it spoke.

"My beautiful Rin."

Rin knew that voice anywhere. The voice that was in her dreams day and night. The voice that she wanted to hear for the longest time. That same voice that told her goodbye was across the very same river that she enjoyed to sit at.

Rin looked at the demon that left her side so many months ago. He hadn't changed one bit. He still had that same expression plastered on his gentle features. But this time it was some what gentler.

"Sesshomaru"

He smiled at her shocked expression. He looked over her once more before he jumped over to her on the other side of the river. He stood in front of her and gave her the rarest smile that he hardly gives anyone.

"I missed you Rin".

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**WELL I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!! I WAS LISTENING TO YIRUMA WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS CHAPTER. IT REALLY SETS THE MOOD. 'KISS THE RAIN' AND 'RIVER FLOWS IN YOUR' WERE THE SONGS I WAS LISTENING TO OVER AND OVER AGAIN AS I WROTE THIS CHAPTER. ANYWAYS TILL NEXT TIME**

**JA NE!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS!! NOW ON TO MY STORY!!**

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Revealed Feelings

She stared at the male demon that had once caught her heart. The one who has always had her heart. He was standing right in front of her. Rin couldn't move. She was stunned. Her lover was standing right in front of her this very moment. So many emotions were running through her mind. Happy. Sad. Joy. And the strongest one of them all...Anger. Rin was angry and Sesshomaru sensed it. She was more than angry. She was furious with him. Rin started backing away from him as he took steps towards her.

"Stay away from me", Rin spoke for the first time.

"Rin..."

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE"!

Sesshomaru stopped walking towards her. His eyes filled with pain that he had inflicted on her. He knew he deserved her hatred. He knew it all. If only she understood why he left her in the first place. He wanted to hold her for the past 5 months. To kiss her like he did the first time so long ago. To make sure she had everything she need that she didn't have as a child before she met him. But now, all of that was gone. His little Rin didn't want him how he wanted her. He knew that.

"Rin. I'm sorry".

Rin blinked a few times. 'Did I just hear him right? Did my Lord just apologize to me?'

Rin shook that thought from her head. "I don't care anymore. Just leave. I don't want you here."

Sesshomaru still held his emotionless face. But deep down hearing her speak like that was tearing him apart at the seams. From a distant he could see him imp Jaken and Ah Un floating towards the ex couple. He didn't care. All he wanted was to explain to Rin. By the time he looked back to Rin she was already heading back towards her village. With his demon speed he appeared right in front of her once again.

"Move", was all she said.

"Rin let me explain".

"I don't want you too. Now please move from in front of me".

Sesshomaru was impressed. She was staying calm. Usually she was throw a bit of a tantrum but he didn't sense any this time. He looked down to her still open kimono and saw her round tummy. He smiled slightly to himself. Rin realized this and pulled the obi around her to close her kimono. She knew that he knew but it was the only way she felt to keep it a secret.

"Sesshomaru", saying his name for the first time. "Please leave me alone. I just want to be alone right now. If it helps I will leave you here and I will go back to the village. I won't trouble you".

Sesshomaru showed the first expression on his face. Shock. After all that he had done to her she was still willing to give him space. Willing to go back to the village where she was ridiculed and tormented for not having a husband by her side and a bastard child.

"Isn't that what you would want? I know that you have always wanted your space. Maybe this was your spot that you used to come to before I did", giving a small smile.

Sesshomaru was angry. How could she want this? Why wasn't she yelling, kicking and screaming? He knew he condition and everything but she didn't slap him once. How could after all this she is still clam...well not exactly clam...she did yell at him once but still want to move aside for him. Sesshomaru growled in frustration.

"You stupid girl! Why aren't you yelling at me? Hitting me like most human girls? Saying fowl things that shouldn't be said? I left you with child. I was never there for you. I never came to even see you. Why aren't you mad at me?!"

Rin smiled. "How do you know the child is even yours"?

Sesshomaru went back to his blank expression. "You wouldn't dare open your legs to another male but me".

"I'm glad that you know that. At least I'm faithful. At least I can stick to what I say".

Sesshomaru was confused at this point.

"What are you-?"

"I'm talking about saying that you love me then leaving me. I'm talking about you saying that you would always be there for me but leaving."

Sesshomaru did nothing but stand there and listen to what she had to say.

"You left me on my birthday. You took my virginity and left me. A month later I found out I was pregnant. Pregnant, with your child. I won't lie...it was a wonderful surprise and the worst part was that I didn't have anyone special to share with until I started showing. Then all the villagers knew that I was pregnant."

Rin started to cry.

"Rin please calm down...the baby."

"TO HELL WITH WHAT YOU TELL ME! DONT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I KNOW YOU CAN FEEL MY HEART BEAT RAISING AND RACING. SO SHUT UP WITH THAT! I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU. THESE PAST FIVE MONTHS HAVE BEEN THE HARDEST FOR ME. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO GO PLACES AND HAVE PEOPLE STARE AT YOU WONDER WHERE THE FATHER IS OR MY HUSBAND, HOW MANY MEN HAVE I SLEPT WITH, HOW COULD I DO SUCH A SINFUL THING. YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA SESSHOMARU!"

At this point Rin had fallen to her knees and wept. It felt good to release most of what she felt.

"You have no idea...wondering if you wanted to keep this baby with me. Wondering if you would even at knowledge that you have a half breed child. I wondered everyday trying to figure out if you would come back and kill my baby. I was so scared. I just wanted to have you with me. Even though I know you hate half breed demons I was hoping that you would love ours in return. Just because it's a part of you and a part of me. Human and demon.

The tears streamed down her beautiful face. She was all red and flustered. Her arms wrapped around her tummy in a protective manner. Sesshomaru expression had changed. From blank to sorrow. For the first time in his life he felt like crying for the women he had deeply hurt. She was tearing at the seams and he could feel it. He wanted to hold her and tell her how much he cared for her and that he still does. How much he wanted to make things right again and that he would do anything to make it better. For the first time ever in the 200 years that he lived The Great Demon of the West was bowing down toward a human...a human girl. The girl that has captured his heart the moment he had saved her from death so many years ago. She stared back up at him and saw his face. There was sadness within his eyes. And water. No tears. He saw her look even harder at his face and blinked back his tears. Even if Rin did hold the key to his heart he would never cry in front of anyone...including a female. Sesshomaru looked at his surroundings. It was a beautiful open space with bright green leaves on the tress and a crystal clear river in the center.

'No wonder why Rin loves this place so much. It's her heaven. It's where she loves to enjoy her time with...our baby.' He thought.

"Please leave me".

He heard the voice speak again. It broke him out of his thoughts. Rin was looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"No..I won't leave you again."

With that he picked her up and with one jump they were back by the river. Rin didn't even struggle to break free of his grasp. She hadn't felt his hold in so long she would be lying if she said he didn't want him to hold her.

"Tell me, how have you been"? He knew that it was a stupid question to ask her and it even surprised him that he asked.

"You know how I've been. I told you when I was yelling".

He placed a hand on her tummy. He smiled. 'Our baby', he thought.

Still holding her he sat down with her on his lap.

"I left because I wanted to get everything ready for you. I knew you were going to be pregnant with my child the moment I released in you. The moment I felt your climax was the moment I released myself into you."

Sesshomaru didn't even get a chance to finish before he felt a slap against his face. Rin had turned around and gave him a hard slap across his face. She was more than angry now. She started to stomp off before a hand reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"Wait Rin".

"NO! YOU LEFT ME KNOWING THAT I WAS GOING TO BE PREGNANT! FUCK YOU SESSHOMARU!"

Sesshomaru was puzzled. He had never heard of this 'fuck' word. It must be a word from the future. He heard Kagome use it with Inuyasha a lot when she was mad with his half brother Inuyaha. But he knew that she was cursing him out.

"Let me explain Rin. I won't let you leave until you let me."

Rin still tried to pull free but it was useless. She stopped trying she knew that it was a losing battle and she was on the losing side. He lover pulled her back into his arms and she sat back in his lap and listened to what he had to say.

"I left to get everything ready for you. I knew that there were demons out in the west who would have fought not to have a human as their leader and then there were some who didn't care. There are half breed demons in my lands but that's only with another mix with another demon. I didn't want anything to happen to you Rin. I wouldn't allow anything to happen to you. I gave them five months to prepare themselves for when you arrived. If they still had a problem with it then they would either have to leave or face death. None wanted to leave but they didn't want you there either. I killed all those who opposed me. I even killed some female demons. The ones who didn't see fit that I have a human mate. They said that I should have mated with them in order to keep the demon blood pure. Them they were the female demons that couldn't wait to meet you. They had you bed prepared and all your clothes picked out. They were starting to annoy me."

Rin smiled at that last part but still kept in mind that he had called her his mate.

"I needed them to understand. It's the reason I didn't mark you that night. I didn't want what father had to go through with his human mate to happen with you. To be killed by the ones who you thought were you allies."

He turned her around and pulled her legs around him so that she was straddling him. They stared deep into each other's eyes. Rin thought that she was going to melt. She hadn't looked at him this way in the longest time. Her tear stained face was already dried of her forgotten tears as Sesshomaru rubbed her cheeks with the back of his hand.

"Rin, when a dog demon mate they mate for life. If I was to mark you that night then we could not be separated. Our bond wouldn't let it happen. It would be too strong. That's why I couldn't mark you as mine. The bond between mates is too powerful and with the demons I had to face...I didn't want you around that. I wanted you have a peaceful life. The best one that I could give you. I wouldn't dare let anything happen to you Rin or to our unborn child."

Rin didn't say anything. She understood what he was saying but it still hurt that he left without telling her anything.

"But you could have told me something instead of just leaving the way you did. It was my birthday. I wanted to spend that night together with the demon I had fallen in love with. But you choose to leave me. I do understand why but you could have told me."

"I know Rin and Im truly sorry for that. Please forgive me."

Rin stared deep in his eyes and kissed his cheek. "I forgive you Sesshomaru".

Sesshomaru waited to hear those words for the longest time. What he did next he couldn't control himself. He kissed his Rin. He kissed her so powerfully that she almost fell off his lap. They wrapped their arms around each other kissed each other deeply. The kiss lasted for a couple of minutes before they pulled back resting their foreheads on each others.

"May I Rin?"

Rin nodded. Sesshomaru pulled at her obi. Her kimono came loose revealing her poking out tummy. Sesshomaru rubbed it gently. He couldn't believe that this was his baby. He never thought that in a million years that he would have a child to care for. The sensation of feeling both Rin and the baby was breath taking. He couldn't believe that in one month his child would be born. Now there was only one more thing he had to do.

"Rin would you be my mate? I know that I should have done it a while ago. But."

"Yes. I want to be you mate."

Sesshomaru gave her a soft kiss on her lips. He pulled back and moved her hair from the side that he was going to place his mark. His eyes glowed red for a split moment before they went back to his amber colour. He licked her where her neck and shoulder had met and bit down. Rin gasped in shock. She had never felt anything like this. It was a mix between pain and pleasure. Before long she was moaning at the new pleasure that had come upon her as she gripped her lover.

Sesshomaru licked the mark clean and licked away the blood.

"Your mine Rin", he said as he kissed her.

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**YAY...NEXT CHAPTER!!! SORRY THAT IT TOOK SO LONG!!! NEXT CHAPTER MIGHT BE THE LAST ONE OR I MIGHT MAKE IT THE SECOND LAST ONE...WHO KNOWS. WELL ITS TIME TO REVIEW...SO GET !!**


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